Preparing for EMDR Therapy
Good preparation makes EMDR therapy safer and more effective. This guide explains what the preparation phase involves, how to build your internal resources, what practical steps to take, and how to manage your expectations as you approach processing.
If reading about trauma feels activating, consider pacing yourself. You may find it helpful to start with grounding and stabilisation, then return when you feel steadier. The window of tolerance can help you pace this.
What Preparation Involves
Preparation for EMDR therapy is not just a formality. It is a purposeful and essential phase that builds the foundation for safe, effective trauma processing.
If you have been offered EMDR therapy or are considering it, you may be wondering what you need to do to get ready. Your therapist will guide you through the preparation process. Understanding what to expect in advance, though, can help reduce uncertainty and help you engage more fully with this phase.
Preparation happens at two levels. Clinically, there is Phase 2 of the EMDR protocol, which focuses on building internal resources and ensuring you are equipped to manage the emotional demands of processing. Practically, there are steps you can take to set up your environment, plan your schedule, and organise support so that the therapy proceeds as smoothly as possible.
This phase may feel like a delay if you are eager to begin processing. It is not wasted time. Research and clinical experience consistently show that adequate preparation is associated with better outcomes, fewer adverse effects, and a more sustainable therapeutic process.
The Preparation Phase in EMDR (Phase 2)
Phase 2 of the EMDR protocol is dedicated to ensuring you have the internal resources and therapeutic relationship needed to proceed safely into processing.
During Phase 2, your therapist works with you to build a repertoire of skills and resources that will support you during and between processing sessions. This phase also deepens the therapeutic relationship, which is itself a crucial resource.
Your therapist will explain how EMDR works, what to expect during processing, and what might happen between sessions. They will answer your questions and address any concerns. This psychoeducation is a dialogue, not a lecture, designed to help you make informed decisions about your care.
You will practise bilateral stimulation in a low-intensity context, becoming familiar with the process before it is applied to traumatic material. This might involve using bilateral stimulation to strengthen a positive memory or a calm place visualisation. The aim is to make the mechanics of EMDR feel familiar and comfortable before the emotional intensity increases.
Phase 2 also involves your therapist assessing your readiness for processing. They consider factors such as your current stability, your ability to use coping strategies, the quality of the therapeutic relationship, and any external factors that might affect the timing. This assessment is collaborative and transparent.
Building a Calm or Safe Place Resource
One of the key resources developed during EMDR preparation is a "calm place" or "safe place" visualisation. This becomes an important tool for self-regulation throughout the therapy.
The calm place exercise involves identifying a real or imagined place where you feel a sense of peace, safety, or comfort. It might be a beach you have visited, a quiet room, a woodland path, or an entirely imagined space. The specific place matters less than the feeling it evokes.
Your therapist guides you through the visualisation, helping you engage all your senses: what you see, hear, smell, feel, and perhaps taste. You identify a word or phrase associated with this place (such as "beach" or "calm") and a body sensation that accompanies the peaceful feeling. Bilateral stimulation is then used to strengthen this association, making it more vivid and more accessible when you need it.
The calm place resource serves several purposes. It provides a way to regulate your arousal during processing sessions; if you become overwhelmed, your therapist can guide you there to settle. It provides a tool for self-regulation between sessions, when processing material may continue to surface. And it gives you an experience of bilateral stimulation in a positive context, before it is used with traumatic material.
Not everyone finds visualisation easy. If you struggle with mental imagery, your therapist can adapt the exercise or use alternative approaches, such as focusing on a soothing physical sensation or a piece of music. The goal is to find something that helps you access a state of calm, whatever form that takes.
Practise your calm place between sessions, even when you are not distressed. The more familiar it becomes, the more readily available it will be when you need it.
Learning Grounding and Self-Regulation Techniques
Alongside the calm place, your therapist will teach you additional techniques for staying grounded and managing emotional intensity.
Grounding techniques help bring you back to the present moment when you feel overwhelmed, triggered, or disconnected. They work by engaging your senses and redirecting your attention to the here and now. Common examples include the 5-4-3-2-1 exercise (naming things you can see, hear, touch, smell, and taste), pressing your feet firmly into the floor, holding a cold object, or focusing on the sensation of your breath.
Your therapist may also teach you breathing techniques, such as slow diaphragmatic breathing or extended exhale breathing, which directly activate the parasympathetic nervous system and help reduce arousal. These are simple but effective tools that can be used anywhere.
The container exercise is particularly relevant to EMDR preparation. You imagine a secure container (a safe, a vault, a box with a strong lid) in which you can place distressing thoughts, images, or feelings when you need to set them aside. This is not about ignoring them; it is about storing them safely until they can be addressed in your next session. The exercise is especially useful between sessions, when processing material may continue to surface.
You may also develop resources related to self-compassion: ways of speaking to yourself kindly during difficult moments, drawing on the voice of a nurturing figure, or simply acknowledging that what you are going through is hard. Compassion-Focused Therapy principles can be valuable here.
The aim is not to acquire every possible technique. Identify a small number that work well for you and practise them until they become second nature. Your therapist will help you experiment and find the right fit.
What You Will and Will Not Need to Disclose
A common concern about EMDR is how much you will need to tell your therapist. The answer is: less than you might think.
EMDR does not require a detailed, blow-by-blow account of your traumatic experiences. Your therapist needs a broad understanding of your history and sufficient information to identify target memories and create a treatment plan. The level of detail, though, is largely up to you.
During preparation, your therapist works with you to identify the memories that may be contributing to your current difficulties. This might involve discussing themes, periods of your life, or types of experiences rather than specific events. You share as much or as little as feels comfortable.
During processing itself, you hold the memory in your own mind while following bilateral stimulation. You do not need to narrate what you are seeing or feeling unless you choose to. After each set of bilateral stimulation, your therapist may ask "What do you notice?" and you can share a brief summary or simply describe the shift in your experience.
This aspect of EMDR is often a significant relief for people who have been dreading the prospect of verbalising their trauma in detail. If detailed narration is not something you are comfortable with, EMDR can offer a way to process traumatic material without it.
Some people find they want to share more as the therapy progresses and trust builds. The pace and depth of disclosure is always your choice.
Practical Preparation for EMDR
Beyond the clinical preparation, there are practical steps you can take to set yourself up for the best possible experience.
Scheduling. Processing sessions can be emotionally and physically tiring. Where possible, avoid scheduling demanding activities immediately afterwards. Allow yourself some quiet time, even if it is just 30 minutes. Some people find it helpful to schedule sessions earlier in the day so they have the rest of the day to settle.
Environment. If your sessions are online, arrange a private, comfortable space where you will not be interrupted. Sit facing a screen without distractions. Have water nearby, and perhaps a grounding object (something with a strong texture or temperature) within reach. Check that your device is charged and your internet connection is reliable.
Support network. Consider who you might turn to if you need support between sessions. This could be a partner, friend, family member, or helpline. You do not need to tell them the details of your therapy. Simply knowing that someone is available can be reassuring.
Aftercare planning. Think about what helps you feel grounded and calm after an intense experience. A walk, a bath, time with a pet, gentle music, a specific grounding exercise. Having a plan in place before you need it is much more effective than trying to figure it out when you are already feeling overwhelmed. Our aftercare guide provides detailed suggestions.
Self-care basics. In the weeks leading up to and during EMDR processing, prioritise sleep, nutrition, hydration, and gentle movement. Your nervous system will be working hard, and it needs adequate fuel and rest.
What to Expect in Your First Processing Session
The transition from preparation to processing can feel significant. Knowing what to expect can help you approach it with less anxiety.
Before your first processing session, your therapist checks in about your readiness and reviews your coping resources. They remind you that you can pause or stop at any time and confirm the target memory you will be working on.
The session begins with the assessment phase (Phase 3 of the EMDR protocol). You identify the key components of the target memory: the most disturbing image, the negative belief linked to the memory, the preferred positive belief, the emotions present, their intensity (rated on a scale of 0 to 10), and where you notice sensations in your body.
Processing (Phase 4) then begins. You hold the memory in mind while following your therapist's guided bilateral stimulation. After each set, your therapist asks what you notice. You simply report whatever comes up, without censoring or analysing. The material may shift in unexpected ways: different images, new emotions, changes in body sensation, or related memories.
First processing sessions are often shorter than subsequent ones. Your therapist may want to ensure you tolerate the process well before extending the duration. Expect a range of emotions during and afterwards: relief that it was manageable, surprise at what came up, tiredness, or emotional sensitivity.
Afterwards, your therapist checks in, uses your calm place or grounding techniques to ensure you are stable, and discusses your aftercare plan. They will ask you to notice (without trying to change) whatever comes up in the following days, as processing often continues between sessions.
Managing Expectations
Having realistic expectations about EMDR can help you stay engaged with the process and avoid unnecessary frustration or discouragement.
EMDR is well-evidenced and effective, but it is not magic. Some people experience rapid, dramatic shifts. Others experience a more gradual process. The pace depends on many factors, including the nature and complexity of the trauma, how many target memories need to be addressed, and individual differences in how the brain processes information.
Feeling somewhat worse before you feel better is common, particularly in the early stages of processing. Stirring up traumatic material inevitably produces some emotional turbulence. This typically settles as processing continues.
Not every session will feel like a breakthrough. Some may feel quiet or uneventful. Others may bring up unexpected material. Trust the process and communicate openly with your therapist about how things feel.
EMDR will not erase your memories. After successful processing, you will still remember what happened, but the memory will have lost its emotional charge. People often describe it as feeling "further away," "like it happened to someone else," or "just a fact from the past." The goal is integration: the memory becomes part of your story without dominating your present.
Supporting Yourself Between Sessions
The period between EMDR processing sessions is an important part of the therapeutic process, and how you care for yourself during this time matters.
After a processing session, your brain continues to work with the material that was activated. You may notice new thoughts, memories, dreams, or emotions surfacing. You may feel more tired than usual, more emotional, or you may experience a sense of lightness or relief. All of these are typical responses.
Your therapist may ask you to keep a brief log of anything that comes up between sessions. Not to analyse or dwell on, but to note so you can share it next time. This information helps your therapist understand how the processing is progressing.
Use the coping strategies you developed during preparation: your calm place, grounding techniques, the container exercise, breathing exercises. Prioritise adequate sleep, nourishing food, hydration, and gentle physical activity. Where possible, avoid making major life decisions or engaging in conflict-heavy situations in the days immediately after processing.
If you experience distress that feels unmanageable between sessions, contact your therapist. Most therapists have arrangements for between-session contact in cases of significant difficulty. You do not need to wait until your next appointment if you are struggling.
Our aftercare guide provides comprehensive advice on managing the period between trauma therapy sessions.
When You Do Not Feel Ready
If you do not feel ready to begin processing, that is not a problem. It is important information, and it deserves to be taken seriously.
Readiness for trauma processing cannot be forced or rushed. If the idea of beginning processing fills you with dread, or if you feel that you do not yet have the stability or resources to manage it, say so. This is not avoidance. It is self-awareness.
There are many legitimate reasons someone might not feel ready. You may need more time to build trust with your therapist. You may need additional stabilisation work. Practical factors in your life may need to be addressed first. You may be dealing with another crisis that demands your emotional energy. Or you may simply need more time.
A good therapist will not pressure you. They will explore your concerns, help you understand what might be contributing to your reluctance, and work with you to address any barriers. Sometimes the reluctance itself becomes an important focus, revealing fears, beliefs, or patterns worth exploring.
Some degree of apprehension before processing is entirely normal and does not mean you are not ready. The difference between normal apprehension and genuine unreadiness is something your therapist can help you navigate. If your therapist believes you are ready but you are unsure, discuss it openly. Your consent and collaboration are essential.
The preparation phase is valuable in its own right. The skills you develop, the understanding you gain, and the therapeutic relationship you build during this time all contribute meaningfully to your recovery, regardless of when processing begins.
If you would like to discuss whether EMDR might be right for you, or if you have questions about the preparation process, get in touch with our team for a free initial consultation.
Written by a Principal Clinical Psychologist
This resource is written in a structured, evidence-informed style, drawing on established trauma research and clinical practice.
Author & review
Written by: Dr Aisha Tariq, Principal Clinical Psychologist
HCPC registered
Reviewed by: Illuminated Thinking clinical team
Last reviewed:
Important note
This page is provided for information and support. It is not a substitute for personalised assessment, diagnosis, or medical advice. If you are in immediate danger or feel unable to keep yourself safe, call 999 or go to A&E. For urgent mental health support, contact NHS 111 (option 2 in many areas) or your local crisis team.
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