Couples Therapy in Glasgow

When Couples Therapy Can Help

Relationships go through difficult periods. That is normal. But when the difficult period stretches on and you cannot find your way back to each other, therapy can help you understand what is happening between you and find a way forward.

Couples therapy may be helpful if you are experiencing:

• Communication breakdown, where conversations keep turning into arguments or shutting down entirely
• Repetitive arguments that circle the same ground without resolution
• Emotional distance, where you feel more like housemates than partners
• Trust difficulties, whether following a specific event or a more gradual erosion
• The impact of trauma, anxiety, or depression on the relationship
• Major life transitions such as becoming parents, bereavement, relocation, or retirement

You do not need to be in crisis to seek couples therapy. Coming earlier, when patterns are forming rather than fully entrenched, often makes the work more effective.

How Couples Therapy Works at Illuminated Thinking

Our approach to couples therapy is formulation-led. This means we take time to understand how the difficulties between you developed, what keeps them going, and what each of you brings to the dynamic from your own history and experiences.

Therapy is not about assigning blame or taking sides. It is about helping both partners feel heard and understood, and then working together to build something different. Your therapist holds the space for both of you equally.

We draw on attachment theory and the Gottman Method, a research-based approach to couples therapy developed by Drs John and Julie Gottman over four decades of studying what makes relationships work. The Gottman Method provides a structured framework for understanding conflict, building friendship and intimacy, and creating shared meaning in the relationship.

The Gottman Method in couples therapy

The Gottman approach is built on decades of observational research into what distinguishes couples who thrive from those who struggle. It identifies specific patterns, such as the "Four Horsemen" (criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling), that reliably predict relationship breakdown. Recognising these patterns gives couples a clear starting point for change.

In practice, the Gottman Method helps couples strengthen their friendship system (how well you know and respond to each other), improve conflict management (not eliminating disagreement, but handling it without damage), and build shared goals and rituals that deepen connection over time.

This is combined with attachment theory, which helps us understand how early experiences shape what we need and expect in close relationships. What looks like a communication problem on the surface often reflects deeper patterns around safety, connection, and vulnerability.

Therapy focuses on recognising these patterns, understanding where they come from, and gradually developing new ways of responding to each other. This might involve learning to listen differently, expressing needs more openly, or finding ways to repair after conflict.

What to Expect from Sessions

Both partners attend sessions together. Sessions last 50 minutes and are typically held weekly. In the first few sessions, your therapist will take time to hear from both of you and build a shared understanding of your relationship and its difficulties.

There may be times when individual sessions alongside the couples work are useful, for example if one partner wants to explore something from their own history that is affecting the relationship. Your therapist will discuss this with you if it seems helpful.

The pace of therapy is guided by what feels manageable. Some couples make rapid progress once they understand their patterns. Others need more time, particularly if trust has been significantly damaged or if the difficulties are longstanding. We work at a pace that suits you both.

Most couples find that somewhere between 10 and 20 sessions gives them a solid foundation, though this varies. We review progress together regularly.

Dr Aisha Tariq, Couples Therapist in Glasgow

Dr Aisha Tariq is the sole couples therapist at Illuminated Thinking. Aisha is a doctoral-level clinical psychologist, registered with the Health and Care Professions Council (HCPC), and the Clinical Director of the practice.

Aisha uses the Gottman Method alongside an attachment-informed, formulation-led approach. She is also trained in Schema Therapy, CBT, Compassion-Focused Therapy, and ACT, and draws on these flexibly depending on what each couple needs. Her style is warm, direct, and genuinely interested in helping both partners feel understood.

If you are looking for individual therapy to explore relationship patterns without a partner, you may find our relationship therapy page helpful. Several members of our team offer individual therapy focused on relational difficulties.